Gray eyed Angel
by Never.To.Late
Summary: The Gray eyed angel cries alone and bleeds as his love watches helplessly with nothing to do to stop him. They would only meet again in death. MattXNear. Warning: Yaoi and self mutilation


Gray Eyed Angel

Disclaimer: I don't own Death note or any Characters. But if did...Well I'll keep it a secret!

Matt stared out into the dismal rain that was falling against his window. His head rested against the glass and the sound of the slow patter on his window made him feel just as bad as the outside looked. Mello had left. His best friend had left him alone! What was wrong with him? So he was only third best but he was still an excellent hacker. Maybe it was because of what he was. Matt wasn't one to obsess over his own sexuality but it was no secret that he liked boys and girls. Maybe Mello was bothered by that and left him behind because he didn't like him. No it wasn't that because when Mello left it had been one of the few times Matt had seen him cry. It had been the last time Mello had hugged him close and told him he would miss him.

Matt turned from the window and slid down the wall. His knees were drawn up to his chest and he hid his face in them. Ever since Mello had left Matt had tried many things to get rid of the pain of being shunned again. He found one that worked for him besides smoking. It was a ritual on days like today. Days when it rained and he could hear the screams of his mother as she died and Mello's steady heartbeat against his ear as he hugged Matt the last time. It made the sounds fade and the pain made him feel alive.

Linda often fussed over Matt because he was becoming incredibly thin and sick looking. He smiled when he thought of her kind motherly face. Then he would become angry because his real mother was murdered in a most brutal way. After that the sadness would follow because no one was left. No one to hold him and make sure everything was alright. After a while the emptiness took over and his mind became numb.

He uncurled himself and reached for the draw that held the weapon in it. The light glinted off the blade in his room as he held it up. He pushed his sleeve back and let the cool blade rest on his skin. A small frown found it's way on to his lips as he pressed harder. The cool blade was warmed by his skin as he drew it across his arm roughly. A hiss of pain escaped his chapped lips. He shut his eyes and focused on the feel of the warm blood dripping down his arm. Tears slowly fell down his face. After a few more cuts he stood weakly and went to wash the blood away. He walked the halls like a ghost, silent and gloomy. As he passed the playroom Near looked up. His puzzle piece clattered to the floor as he stood to follow the red trail on the floor. The perfect white floor that made the blood look more like cherry syrup than actual blood. He followed Matt until he saw the boys destination. He walked into the bathroom and silently watched Matt hiss in pain while rinsing the dried blood away.

Near had never really talked to Matt. It was one of Mello's rules. Yet here he was, worried about the strange boy who usually wore goggles and, apparently, fake smiles.

" Matt," Near said in his bored voice.

" Jesus Christ, Near," Matt jumped.

Near's only answer was silence.

" What was your reason for scaring me half to death?" Matt pinned Near with a glare.

" Impossible. If I scared you half to death than you might be on the floor not breathing. What happened to you that you're bleeding?" Near asked in monotone chords.

" I scratched myself on a nail," Matt lied lamely.

" Let me see it. Maybe you should see the nurse," Near said.

" Look, I'm fine. Besides. Why do you care?" Matt ground out.

Near stood for a second in thought. He held his robot toy close to his side with his fist curled around it. Why did he care? Why did he worry? He was sure it had nothing to do with the way Matt made him feel. The butterflies he couldn't explain. The pent up emotions willing to spill over with a glance.

" I'm not sure," Near said evenly.

" Well than, please move so I can go bandage this," Matt was stunned into politeness because for an instance he had seen emotions flitting through Nears normally dead eyes.

Near shifted and allowed Matt to pass. However, Matt was not off the hook yet. Near followed him to his room and sat on the dark carpet. Matt tried his best to ignore him but he stared at Matt with large gray eyes. Matt felt himself waver as he stood on the other side of the room and pulled the bandage tight to stop the bleeding. He was looking down now. Near shuffled over and put his hand on Matt's arm before he could finish pulling the bandage. Under his touch Matt let the bandage unravel. It had been so long since someone had stood this close to him. Since someone else's touch had calmed him like it as now. His red hair obscured his green eyes as he stood there and let Near see him. Let Near see all of him down to his soul. Near let his long pale fingers run down Matt's arm in a gentle touch. They danced over his cuts. Neither boy would look the other in the eyes. Near reached for Matt's other arm and pushed up his sleeve.

Matt felt the tears falling hotly down his face. He dropped to his knees and covered his ears. The screaming was so loud. Why wouldn't it just leave him alone? Near watched the display silently. His cold eyes softened and he did something Matt never expected. He leaned down and placed his arms around Matt's shoulders. Matt looked up in surprise to see Near's warm eyes looking back at him. He stared for a second before letting go of his ears and balling his fists in Near's shirt. The other boy just pulled Matt closer and held on to him.

The screaming stopped. All Matt could hear was the steady staccato beat of the heart beating inside of Near. Near knelt in front of Matt and took his arms again. Slowly he bandaged the one that was bleeding and tied it off. After that he held onto Matt's hands and watched the other boy. When it was time for dinner Near left. He took the knife and other sharp objects with him. Matt sat there and waited for Near to return. He didn't want to be left alone. Near returned and set a plate of food in front of Matt.

" Eat," He commanded in a soft voice.

Matt did as he was told and ate as much as he could, which wasn't a lot. Near took the plates back and brought his puzzle to Matt's room. He didn't want to leave Matt alone.

Matt was watching Near do the puzzle when he realized just how cute the albino boy was. He watched Near's graceful fingers place the pieces of the blank puzzle in the right places. His pale soft lips parted as he breathed slowly. Matt slid behind him and placed his arms around the boy. Near leaned back against him. A small smile played across both their faces. Near looked back and Matt closed the distance pressing his lips against the younger boys. Near pulled away and turned in Matt's embrace so they were facing each other. Both boys kissed again and felt high from each others lips.

" Would it be okay to love you?" Matt asked.

" I'm not sure. Mello wouldn't like it," Near looked into his eyes.

" Mello isn't here and I can make choices for myself," Matt looked back.

" Then yes it is," Near smiled.

Matt kissed Near again. Near's fingers wound in Matt's hair and his eyes slid shut. When the kiss was ended both boys stood. It was just about time for them to go to sleep. They laid in Matt's bed. Matt lay on his back and Near rested on his chest with his arms wound around Matt's middle.

" Good night, Matt. I love you," Near felt liberated as he voiced those words.

" Good night, Near. I love you too," Matt closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of Near's soft hair.

Matt was happy as was Near. It was the best Matt had felt in a while. He would give anything to have just one more night with his gray eyed angel but his mind was made up. Mello needed him more and besides he would always find a way to see Near.

" Until we meet again. I'll love you until I die," Matt whispered as he tucked the covers around Near's shoulders and slid out of his room and away from the only place he ever felt happy. The tower of His gray eyed angels arms.

" Same here," the angel whispered as he sat in Matt's bed alone with small tears running down his face.

Matt lay on the ground bleeding to death. Ironic that he was dying for his friend and not his lover.

'Near,' He thought,' I'm sorry. I love you so much. My gray eyed angel please don't forget me.'

Near was watching the news as soon as he heard about Takada's kidnapping. He watched as Matt was loaded with bullets and fell down dying. The SPK members were astonished when tears flooded his face.

" You're the only one I cried for. I'll see you again in death," He softly caressed his arm, which was scarred and red under his white sleeve.

The gray eyed angel cries alone and bleeds as his love watched helplessly with nothing to do to stop him.


End file.
